ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
a search helicopter?!
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
