I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
