I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
