I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
