i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
