I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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