We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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