Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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