My friends, they love my intelligence
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
