How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
