No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
