im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize