I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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