Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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