Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i think my cat just said my name.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
