I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I have post one night stand depression
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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