I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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