dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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