I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
