we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
