We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
