I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
