"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
