my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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