i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
