Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
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He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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