got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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