He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
