You're completely useless in the revolution.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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