Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
