On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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