What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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