shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
