Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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