I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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