Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
