We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
