He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
