Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize