he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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