Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
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If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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