you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
