I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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