shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
