oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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