It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
