I accidentally had phone sex last night
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize