I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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