Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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