No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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