So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
