in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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