can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
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mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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