Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
