My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize