dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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