if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Houston, we have a squirter
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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