When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
