"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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