this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
