dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
how drunk are you?
Several
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
