they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
i think i just lost a toe
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
