no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
