If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
