last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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