is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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